A Man vs. A Boy:

Choosing the Future Over the Moment

When I was young, I would often order a full pizza and a cheesesteak, or buy a large milkshake with a cone for myself. I made mistakes in my youth, indulging in whatever felt good at the moment. At the time, it felt harmless, even fun.

But life teaches lessons we can’t ignore forever. Some mistakes can’t be undone. I can’t heal my back after a lifetime of poor lifting habits. I can’t go back and attend every game or swim meet of my daughters. I can’t undo the hurt I caused others along the path of my youth.

Yet, while I can’t change the past, I can change the future. I can pause, reflect, and choose differently. I can say no to the things that feel good today in order to preserve health, happiness, integrity, and salvation tomorrow. That, I believe, is the difference between a boy and a man.

I often remind myself of a quote that keeps me accountable: “I am not what I want to be, I am not what I should be, I am not what I could be—but at least I am not what I used to be.” Each moment of restraint, each decision made with foresight, is proof that growth is possible—even when the past cannot be erased.

Being a man isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about living deliberately, making choices that honor our future selves, and refusing to let fleeting pleasure dictate the trajectory of our lives. In the end, the courage to say “not today” shapes a life worth living.