Here we go again with another deep, life-changing WordPress prompt:
“What’s your favorite month of the year?”

I know my readers practically leapt out of bed this morning, grabbed their coffee, and whispered,
“Today’s the big reveal… today Beebop finally tells us his favorite month. This is right up there with discovering his favorite color.”

I do what I can.

Now let’s walk through the year — the hope, the lies, the vitamin D crash, the snow ambushes, the falling leaves, the retail panic, and the slow, steady drumbeat toward winter — before we arrive at the one month that gives me everything I love: heat, sunshine, the beach, the outdoors, boating, fishing, and being outside in shorts like a free-range human.

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March — The Great Deceiver With a Snowplow in the Back Pocket

March pretends it’s spring.
Warm breeze one day, six inches of heavy snow the next.

I’ll step outside thinking, “Look at this! It’s happening!”
And then the next morning I’m shoveling the driveway wondering why my back hurts.

March loves chaos.

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April — The Gaslighter That Still Thinks It’s Winter

April tells me, “Go ahead Beebop, wear shorts!”

Then delivers freezing rain, slush, or a late-season snowstorm designed specifically to humble me.

April is that month that swears it’s warm while I’m outside in a jacket wondering who I’m trying to impress.

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May — The Month I Switch to Shorts… Period

May warms up, the sun sticks around a little longer, and I step into my natural habitat:

SHORTS.

Once May hits, I’m in shorts from May through October — unless I’m attending a funeral.
That’s it. That’s the only exception.

Cold? Don’t care.
Windy? Whatever.
Sun in and out? Irrelevant.

May is the month I declare my legs free.

But even so, this is where I start running dangerously low on vitamin D — my body is living off whatever sunlight it hoarded last July.

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June — Beautiful… But Still Too Cold for Me

June gives me long days and long evenings, but the temperature?
Still too cool for my liking.

I’m outside at 8:30PM, in shorts of course, but with goosebumps.

June is visually summer, emotionally early spring.

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August — Warmth With a Sunset Countdown

August brings the heat I live for — the kind of heat that lets me be outside all day long fishing, boating, walking, grilling, or doing absolutely nothing except soaking in the sunshine like a lizard on a warm rock.

But even then… I feel the shift.
The sun sets a little earlier each night, and I catch myself checking the clock like a man bargaining with time.

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September — The Warm Goodbye, With Falling Leaves That Break My Heart

I still love September — it’s warm, it’s sunny, and I’m still confidently wearing shorts — but the falling leaves tell the truth.

That first leaf drifting to the ground might as well be a calendar notification:
“Winter has entered the chat.”

September is beautiful, but it’s beautiful in a way that makes me emotional.

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October — Leaf Explosion and the Fade of Light

October doubles down.
Leaves raining everywhere.
Days getting shorter.
Evenings cooler.
Vitamin D? Gone.
My mood? Negotiable.

October can still be fun — but only when I’m outside soaking up whatever warm sunlight is left, walking, fishing, whatever I can get. Because once the cold comes… I’m indoors like a hibernating man in shorts denial.

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November Through February — The Long, Dark Stretch

Cold.
Dark.
Gray skies.
Sunset at lunchtime.
Me wearing layers indoors like a wool sandwich.

And then there’s December.

When I was a kid, I LOVED December — waiting for Santa, gifts, magic.
Today, as a retired retailer?

Christmas songs on TV and the radio send me straight into old panic-mode flashbacks.
Crowds. Complaints. Corporate pressure.
A cash register freezing on December 23rd while the line is out the door.

One jingle bell is all it takes to send me back into battle mode.

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So After All That… What Month Is My Favorite?

After enduring snow in March and April, teasing warmth in May, cold evenings in June, sunset betrayal in August, falling leaves in September and October, and retail PTSD in December…

There is only ONE month that gives me everything I love:

JULY.

Warm.
Hot.
Bright.
Long days.
Long evenings.
Full sunlight.
No leaves falling.
No snow in sight.
No Christmas carols.

And July is the month that lets me live the way I was built to live:

On the beach, on the water, fishing, boating, sweating, relaxing, playing outside, and living in shorts like a man who refuses to acknowledge winter exists at all.

That’s why July is my favorite —
the one month where the warmth is real, the daylight is long, the sun is strong, and time feels like it finally — finally — slows down.

Even though, after the solstice, a little voice still whispers:

“Here we go again, Beebop… the sun will soon be setting sooner.”