Chocolate Malts

I was talking the other day to my granddaughter about chocolate malted milkshakes.

Blank stare.

She looks at me and says, “What’s a malt?”

I thought she was kidding. She was not kidding.

Apparently, young people today don’t know what a chocolate malt is. Not a milkshake. A malt. There’s a difference. A milkshake is fine. A malt has character. It has that slightly toasty, old-school flavor that says, “This was made at a counter with chrome stools and a metal mixing cup.”

Back when I was growing up, you didn’t have to explain it. You just said, “I’ll have a chocolate malt,” and nobody asked questions. Today you’d need a PowerPoint presentation.

She thought “malt” had something to do with coffee or beer. I told her no, it’s what makes a milkshake better. It gives it that deeper flavor. That richness. That “this isn’t from a drive-thru machine” taste.

And let’s be honest. Malt just sounds tougher.

Milkshake? Cute.

Malt? That’s serious business.

I told her if I blindfolded her and handed her a real chocolate malt, she’d love it. Then she’d probably ask if it’s gluten free.

Somewhere along the way we lost soda fountains, paper hats, and metal mixing cups. And with them went the chocolate malt.

I think I need to make one this weekend and educate the next generation. It’s my responsibility as a grandfather.