Later, I’ll watch a couple of YouTube tutorials on things I have absolutely no intention of ever actually doing—like perfecting sourdough bread, folding a fitted sheet without screaming, or learning to whistle properly. I’ll probably take notes, nod thoughtfully, and then immediately forget everything five minutes later.
After that, I’ll wander the house like a confused ghost, checking doors, lights, and the fridge, as if I could prevent civilization from collapsing just by pacing in slippers. I might even start a very serious argument with my cat about why he refuses to bring me coffee, which he will, of course, ignore.
Finally, I’ll crawl into bed around 10:30, only to lie awake thinking about all the minor errands I should have done: recycling that’s been staring at me for three days, bills I’m “definitely going to pay tomorrow,” and the mysterious Tupperware lid that has vanished into the void. I’ll drift off eventually, comforted by the fact that tomorrow I can absolutely do none of it either.
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