We Don’t Write Like This, So Why Do We Talk Like This?

30 phrases to stop using now

When I was a district manager, I had a store manager who would always say to me, “Can I be honest with you?”

Every single time, I’d look at him and reply, “No, I want you to lie to me.”

He’d laugh, but I wasn’t joking. Think about it—why do people feel the need to preface honesty, as if everything else they say isn’t? It’s one of those filler phrases we’ve all picked up over time, a nervous habit that slips out before we even realize it.

We don’t write that way. You’d never send a report or an email that started with, “Can I be honest with you?” But for some reason, when we talk, we load our sentences with fluff that weakens what we actually want to say.

I’ve noticed this everywhere—on TV, in meetings, even in casual conversation. People throw in “honestly,” “you know,” “like,” “basically,” “I mean,” and a dozen other little space-fillers. Somewhere along the line, we became afraid of silence, afraid of just pausing and letting our words breathe.

The truth is, when we speak like that, we sound unsure of ourselves. We sound like we’re tiptoeing around our own thoughts instead of owning them. Yet when we write, we’re clear, direct, and intentional. Why the disconnect?

Maybe it’s nerves. Maybe it’s habit. Or maybe we’ve just stopped listening to ourselves.

Whatever the reason, trimming those verbal weeds can make a world of difference. The best communicators don’t rush to fill space—they pause, they breathe, and they speak only when they have something worth saying. Silence, I’ve learned, can be a sign of confidence.

---

30 Phrases to Stop Using Right Now

1. Honestly
2. You know
3. To be honest
4. Quite frankly
5. Actually, I think
6. At the end of the day
7. Literally
8. In my opinion
9. With all due respect
10. It is what it is
11. At this point in time
12. Just saying
13. For what it’s worth
14. If I’m being honest
15. No offense, but
16. Basically
17. I mean
18. Like (as filler)
19. Sort of
20. Kind of
21. To tell you the truth
22. Whatever
23. You know what I mean?
24. Truth be told
25. The fact of the matter is
26. That being said
27. Look… (as filler)
28. I guess
29. Maybe sort of kinda
30. Let’s be real
31. Bonus here’s the deal, so on and so forth, you don’t understand!, and the king of all AH (as a filler)

---

Speak the Way You Write

If you want people to take you seriously, start speaking the way you write. Clean, concise, and genuine. You don’t need to sound like a professor—just eliminate the extra padding that distracts from your message.

When you strip away the fluff, you sound more confident, more authentic, and more believable. And people notice.

Next time you catch yourself saying “honestly” or “you know,” pause and ask yourself: Would I write it that way? If the answer is no, skip it.

We don’t write like this—so why do we talk like this?

---