Why Responsibility and Authority Must Stay Aligned

The Day I Put the Keys on the Desk

Years ago, when I was a store manager, I had an employee who disagreed with just about every decision I made.

Disagreement itself never bothered me. In fact, I encouraged it. My door was always open, and I made it clear that if someone had a concern or saw something I missed, I wanted to hear it — directly. Healthy debate makes better decisions.

But this situation went beyond disagreement.

Instead of bringing concerns to me, she openly rallied other employees against decisions that had already been made. She didn’t hide her feelings, and she didn’t keep them professional. The problem wasn’t that she disagreed — it was that she undermined leadership publicly while avoiding the opportunities she had to speak with me privately.

After one too many incidents, I asked her to come up to my office.

We sat down across from each other. I reached into my pocket, took out my store keys, and dropped them on the desk between us.

I asked her, “Do you know who gave these to me?”

She looked at me with genuine confusion and said no.

I said, “Peter Strawbridge did. And you know what else he gave me?”

She shook her head again.

“He gave me total responsibility and accountability for the success or failure of this store.”

That was the point I needed her to understand.

What I was saying — calmly, not angrily — was that debate was welcome, but once a decision was made, I needed support, not sabotage. Authority and responsibility had to stay aligned. Until she was the one holding the keys, she didn’t have the authority to undermine the person who did.

I told her plainly that she had a choice: support the direction of the store from that point on, or find another job.

Leadership isn’t about ego.
It’s about accountability.

And that lesson doesn’t stop at the workplace.

Every family needs a leader too — not because one person is more important than the others, but because every unit needs someone who carries the final responsibility when decisions have to be made.

Discussion is healthy. Disagreement is healthy. Different viewpoints strengthen outcomes. But when disagreement never resolves and authority is constantly challenged, nothing moves forward. Decisions stall. Tension builds. Direction gets lost.

Children feel this first. They receive mixed messages. Rules change depending on who they ask. Boundaries blur, and confusion replaces consistency. That uncertainty doesn’t just affect behavior — it affects their sense of security.

Financial mistakes often follow. Important decisions get delayed, avoided, or made emotionally instead of thoughtfully. Long-term planning suffers because no one is clearly accountable for the result.

Even health can be affected. Ongoing tension raises stress levels. Anxiety increases when leadership is unclear. A home, like a business, is supposed to be a place of stability — not an ongoing power struggle.

At some point, someone has to hold the keys.

One person has to be willing to make the call, own the outcome, and accept responsibility if it goes wrong. Without that, families — like stores — don’t move forward. They drift.

Leadership isn’t about control.
It’s about accountability.

And when responsibility and authority are clearly aligned, things simply work better for everyone involved.