WHAT THEY DON’T TEACH YOU AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL

What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life? 

Yesterday, I sold another property. Six down, that leaves me with only two rentals as I slowly transition out of that business and begin looking for my next venture—something I have done many times throughout my life.

I have never been able to stay in one career for more than about ten years. Once I feel that I have accomplished what I set out to do, I start looking for a new challenge. Some people spend their entire lives climbing one ladder. I’ve climbed several different ladders, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Lately, I find myself looking back at the good times, the different careers, the people I met, and the lessons I learned along the way.

I never went to Harvard. I went to Delaware County Community College, started working in retail management in 1979, and learned business the old-fashioned way—on the sales floor, behind the counter, and by dealing with customers, employees, vendors, tenants, buyers, and corporate executives.

Over the years, I managed stores, helped open Kohl’s locations, ran the company’s number-one district with the best team in the company, worked with vendors, retired from the corporate world at 48, owned my own successful retail store, invested in real estate, and became a Top Rated eBay seller.

Most of what made me successful wasn’t learned from a textbook. It came from watching people, making mistakes, solving problems, and developing some good old-fashioned street smarts.

One of the most important lessons I learned was that success comes from helping other people get what they want. Sometimes that meant finding a customer that special piece of merchandise at a great price. Sometimes it meant giving someone a nice place to live or operate a business at a reasonable rent. Other times it meant helping someone buy a property, develop their skills, or earn a promotion.

Zig Ziglar said it best: “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” That philosophy served me well throughout my entire career.

When you’re negotiating a deal, the secret isn’t just knowing what you want. You need to understand what the other person wants—and why they want it. Once you understand everyone’s motivation, you can put together a good deal, accomplish something important, gain the support of someone who may help you in the future, earn a promotion, negotiate a raise, or create a situation where everybody walks away feeling like they won.

Dale Carnegie understood this years ago in How to Win Friends and Influence People. Take a genuine interest in people. Listen more than you talk. Remember their names. Try to see the situation from their point of view. Make people feel important—and mean it.

You don’t build loyalty by constantly criticizing or embarrassing people. If someone makes a mistake, correct the problem while allowing that person to keep their dignity.

Management works the same way. There is no single philosophy that works with every person or every team. You have to know your people. Set clear expectations, listen to them, hold them accountable, and give honest feedback intended to improve their performance—not humiliate them.

Don’t get me wrong—I was never loved or even respected by everyone I came in contact with. In fact, I drove plenty of people crazy and got into my share of conflicts. I had strong opinions, high expectations, and I wasn’t afraid to say what I thought.

But I never held a grudge, and I never spent one second worrying about what negative people thought of me. The opinions that mattered were those of my family, my good associates, my tenants, my customers, my direct supervisors, and God.

Spending even one ounce of energy on the negative people in my life would have been a complete waste of time. You can’t make everyone like you, and if you try, you’ll eventually forget who you are.

I also learned that meetings without a clear purpose are usually a complete waste of time. Have an agenda, stay on track, let people speak, make a decision, and get back to work. If you’re invited to a meeting, don’t just sit there like a lawn ornament. Come prepared, ask questions, and contribute something useful.

I know some extremely wealthy people who have done far better financially than I ever did. Some achieved that wealth by walking over people, screwing others along the way, and managing through fear, intimidation, and deceit. They are never satisfied, never truly happy, and always seem to be in an argument or defending something they did.

They may have wealth, beautiful possessions, an impressive portfolio, and a social circle filled with other rich people who let them into their country club. But that doesn’t necessarily make them successful.

Real success isn’t measured only by how much money you have. It is also measured by the people who still respect you, the friendships you kept, the employees who are glad they worked for you, and—most importantly—the relationship you have with your family.

If your children want nothing to do with you, your marriage is miserable, or your kids are destroying their lives with drugs, you are not truly wealthy—no matter how many zeros are in your portfolio.

Education is valuable, but a degree alone doesn’t teach judgment, common sense, work ethic, leadership, character, or how to read a room. Those lessons come from experience.

Mark McCormack called it street smarts. Dale Carnegie called it understanding people. Zig Ziglar called it helping others get what they want.

As I close another chapter of my life, I don’t feel like I’m finished. I’m simply turning the page. I don’t know exactly what my next venture will be, but that has always been part of the fun.

In Delco, we just call it knowing how the real world works—and remembering that making a living and making a life are two very different things.

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