What’s the most underrated life skill?

The ability to manipulate people.

Now, before everybody jumps on that word, I don’t mean manipulating people in a dishonest or negative way. I mean understanding people well enough to influence them without pushing them.

I learned this during my years in management. The best managers don’t constantly order people around. They learn how to persuade, motivate, and steer people in the right direction—sometimes so subtly that the person believes the idea was theirs in the first place.

That’s a skill.

It’s knowing when to push and when to back off. Knowing what motivates one person may do absolutely nothing for another. Knowing how to ask a question instead of giving an order. Knowing how to plant an idea and give somebody enough room to arrive at the conclusion themselves.

People naturally resist being told what to do. But when they understand why something makes sense—or better yet, feel like they helped come up with the solution—they’re far more likely to buy into it.

I used this constantly in management. I could have simply said, “This is what we’re doing because I’m the boss.” Sometimes you have to do that. But the better approach was getting people to want to do what needed to be done.

And it goes far beyond management. It works in business, negotiations, sales, parenting, relationships, and everyday life.

Call it manipulation if you want. I prefer the power of persuasion.

The real skill isn’t controlling people.

It’s understanding people well enough that you rarely have to.nderrated life skill?

View all responses